Husband and Wife Are One Body

 

The passage above records an event that took place in the days of Ahasuerus, also known as Xerxes, the fifth king of Persia. At that time, King Ahasuerus wanted to display the beauty of Queen Vashti before the peoples and the princes. But when she refused to come at his command, he became angry. Because of this, the king and the princes not only made it so that Queen Vashti could no longer come before the king, but also sent a decree throughout all the provinces “that every man should bear rule in his own house” — what we today would call patriarchy.

 

The king and the princes regarded what they did as good (v. 21). However, we must know that their action was by no means right. Even if, through this event, Esther was later able to become queen to King Ahasuerus, and even if the Jews were able to be saved through Esther, their action itself cannot be justified, because what they did was different from the word of God.

 

Of course, the Bible contains the following words:

 

1 Corinthians 14:34-35 “34let the women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but let them be in subjection, as also saith the law. 35And if they would learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home: for it is shameful for a woman to speak in the church.”

 

And the reason for this is given as follows:

 

1 Timothy 2:11-15 “11Let a woman learn in quietness with all subjection. 12But I permit not a woman to teach, nor to have dominion over a man, but to be in quietness. 13For Adam was first formed, then Eve; 14and Adam was not beguiled, but the woman being beguiled hath fallen into transgression: 15but she shall be saved through her child-bearing, if they continue in faith and love and sanctification with sobriety.”

 

That is right. Adam was certainly formed first, and Eve afterward. Also, Eve was deceived by the serpent and fell into transgression first. Therefore, God punished Eve as follows:

 

Genesis 3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy pain and thy conception; in pain thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”

 

Nevertheless, a husband cannot take the passages above and say to his wife, “Submit to your husband,” because a man is also the same sinner, no different from a woman. How can sinners who are the same tell one another what to do and what not to do?

 

John 8:3-9 “3And the scribes and the Pharisees bring a woman taken in adultery; and having set her in the midst, 4they say unto him, Teacher, this woman hath been taken in adultery, in the very act. 5Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such: what then sayest thou of her? 6And this they said, trying him, that they might have whereof to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground. 7But when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. 8And again he stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground. 9And they, when they heard it, went out one by one, beginning from the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the midst.”

 

Therefore, we can see that God gave His word not only to women, but also to men through many other passages.

 

Colossians 3:18-19 “18Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”

 

Ephesians 5:21-33 “21subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. 22Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body. 24But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; 26that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, 27that he might present the church to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself: 29for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as Christ also the church; 30because we are members of his body. 31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. 32This mystery is great: but I speak in regard of Christ and of the church. 33Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she fear her husband.”

 

Truly, when God made woman in the beginning, He made her so that she and the man might become “one flesh.”

 

Genesis 2:20-24 “20And the man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the heavens, and to every beast of the field; but for man there was not found a help meet for him. 21And Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof: 22and the rib, which Jehovah God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.”

 

As Ephesians 5:30-32 above tells us, this passage first speaks of the “one” relationship between Jesus, who is the Husband, and we who are the church. But in Ephesians 5:33, by saying, “Nevertheless do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she fear her husband,” Scripture also teaches that a physical husband and wife must become one. In other words, it speaks not only of the spiritual relationship, but also of the physical relationship.

 

The woman was made from the man’s rib, and therefore she is the man’s body. That is why, when Adam first saw Eve, he said, “This is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.” Truly, the woman is the man’s body. Therefore, God said that man and woman should become one flesh, and that a man should love his wife as his own body. And this further speaks of the great love by which Jesus gave His own body on the cross in order to become one with us.

 

Thus, the clear will of God is that whether man or woman, each person should hear and obey the word God has given. Then it will be a blessing to each one. As mentioned earlier, we are all the same sinners, and therefore we cannot judge or condemn one another in anything. This is because judging or condemning someone belongs only to the authority of Jesus (James 4:11-12). Whether man or woman, when each person obeys the word of God given to him or her, it becomes profitable to that person. Of course, if one disobeys, then it will not be profitable.

 

1 Peter 3:1-7 “1In like manner, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, even if any obey not the word, they may without the word be gained by the behavior of their wives; 2beholding your chaste behavior coupled with fear. 3Whose adorning let it not be the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on apparel; 4but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible apparel of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5For after this manner aforetime the holy women also, who hoped in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose children ye now are, if ye do well, and are not put in fear by any terror. 7Ye husbands, in like manner, dwell with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor unto the woman, as unto the weaker vessel, as being also joint-heirs of the grace of life; to the end that your prayers be not hindered.”

 

Just as a person must live more carefully in the present so as not to commit again the sins he committed in the past, men and women also ought to “live carefully with one another” so as not to repeat the sins committed in the past (Rom. 5:12). In this same context, we can understand the words mentioned above in 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 and 1 Timothy 2:11-15.

 

Whether man or woman, we are all members of Jesus, who is the body (1 Cor. 12:27). Therefore, we ought to open our mouths to proclaim the words of Jesus and give glory to the name of Jesus. This is not a privilege given only to men, and God by no means forbids women from doing this (Ps. 148:12-13, Acts 21:8-9, Judg. 4:4). If we do not understand the true meaning of what God has spoken, we will inevitably become like the Pharisees who misunderstood the Sabbath. See Luke 6:1-5 [The Leaven of the Pharisees]. Therefore, husband and wife must both know that they are one equal body, called to work together for good (Rom. 8:28, Eccl. 4:9-12). Also, if both wife and husband understand that neither has authority over his or her own body, they will be able to prevent Satan from tempting them (1 Cor. 7:1-6).

 

Now we must clearly know that the head of the household is neither the man nor the woman, but only Jesus (1 Tim. 6:15, Rev. 17:14). This is what King Ahasuerus and the princes did not know.

 

Jeremiah 31:1 “At that time, saith Jehovah, will I be the God of all the families of Israel, and they shall be my people.”

 

Amen.